Monday, December 18, 2006

Craps is the new PAIGOW!!

or, All (well, almost all) the things Garth forgot on his Vegas Vacation

by the princess

So, I've been dying to play the dice all night, but the IP had the table limits up to $10, and screw that. However, on one of my lazy circuits around the room, I saw that beeeyoooutiful red placard out - $5, babeee! And I knew JUST who to gather to come shoot with me.

... and no, it's not Garth. It's Joe Speaker - if there's one phrase that can move him away from the bar, it's "FIVE DOLLAH CRAPS LETS GO!". So saying that, we move over tht way, the lovely Dacia and Garth "Oh I don't play craps" in tow.

Speaks and I squeeze in and start rolling, and Garth protests and protests despite a spot opening up at the table. However, he is no match for Dacia and I who bump and block him into position, and the hundo just goes onto the felt on its own.

[how Garth remembered it]

And the rest, in princess bullets (tm):
  • Speaker: "If you're not superstitious now, you will be in about 5 minutes"

    • various and sundry:"you cannot talk to the shooter, and you cannot touch the shooter"

    • garth: "so HYPOTHETICALLY if I were talking to JOE, I would ask..."

  • Steve the dealer every time I made some wiseass comment (so, approximately every 3 minutes) "yes dear, whatever you say dear"

    • Garth and me to every blogger that passed by: "Hey, [blogger], do you know what this feels like???"

    • Blogger: "What?"

    • [princess rubbing garth's chest (be jealous ladies)] Garth & me: "It feels like VICTORYEEEEEEE"

  • Somehow I managed to get married to St. B. who only married me for the kid, who was walking around with an austrailian accent


  • Oh my god, did she really just lick Speaker's sleeve??

  • "DAMMIT just give me the $5 so I can roll! I'm not passing the dice!"

    • St.B, "You are NOT THE BOSS OF ME"

    • dealer steve: "Oooooh, I think she is"

    • St. B "Yeah, you're right..."

  • TEAM AMERICA! (and garth pleading to let us let an aussie in)

  • That half of the table is cursed! Here's how you bet the wrong way, garth...

    • Garth, to me: "you know, that guy behind me is really starting to turn me on..."

    • me, to Garth: *blank look*

    • Garth, enthusiastically, "The guy behind me, who has been rolling for 30 minutes!"

    • Me, laughing, "you mean, Mikey?"

    • Garth, "Yeah, I mean that's totally HOTT!"

  • Bobby Bracelet, with all his money on the table as I'm rolling for a hard 8 which comes, "Wahoooo! Wait, let me get this out of the ATM"

  • Bobby, attempting the ATM trick, but the craps gods are not fooled, and a seven comes up.

  • Garth, "I still don't know what I'm doing, but I LOVE ROLLING!!!"

    • Garth, "You are NOT THE BOSS OF ME" as I am putting his bets down for him

    • dealer steve: "Dude, she totally is. "

    • Garth "Yeah, you're soooo right..."

  • I may have possibly given Veneno the evil eyes when she made all the crazy horn bets for garth and her which all paid off.

  • Crazy Australian pointing to his cheek, "I need some LUCK, baby!"

  • "HEY the IP definitely has bust requirements" - garth

  • St. Kat and her coffee (Garth didn't forget this, but it deserves a repeat. THANK YOU THANK YOU)

  • Me dropping a chip in the April Cleavage Slot Machine, and garth going off to retrieve it

  • Bobby B out tipping me with the dealers, "Put a dollar down for everyone at that end of the line!" (this may have been how we got away with all the crap we got away with)

  • Us (and the dealers) watching the other side scoop up all the dollars as they had no clue what they were for (cheapskates)

  • "pseudoephedrine means it doesn't work so well down there. ... But I can work around the edges!"

  • as we make a big point, BobbyB: "Hear THAT, other tables??"
  • "Craps is the new PAIGOW!!"

We make our way up to the Imperial Theater, where we run into WeakPlayer, who asks us where we have been for the last stretch of time. Garth tells him we have been playing craps, to which we get the reply, "But I wanted to pop your craps cherry!"


Weak: "Why did you play when she asked?"
Garth: "Dude, she's female."
Princess: "And I am very persuasive with ways that you do not have."
Garth: "Like boobs."
Weak: "Oh, ok."

... at this point it's about 1:30 on Sunday and I need a two hour recharge of my batteries so I stumble off for a nap.


At 12:55 PM, Blogger Veneno said...

Craps Rule!

And yes, I think you did give me an evil eye ;). But I don't hold grudges. And besides, I think I might have learned a few new important lessons on how the game should be played (find cute guy..rub chest..shout "feels like victooooorrreeee")..I think I got it.


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