Yes, Virginia, Girls can have penis envy too.

If the qualifications of being a degenerate gambler means that you spend enough time in the card room for you to know all the dealers names, for them to say hi to you specifically when you sit down at the table and worry when they haven't seen you for a weekend, for the floor to sign you up for your games when you call in and only say your name, to have your rating card filled out for you without having to turn in your card, and for on of the floor managers to have your email and cell number and worry when he hasn't heard from you for a week either, then I definitely qualify.

Since things have gotten busier with the summer here and all, I've missed a casino trip on an occasional weekend, and mostly only been able to play on Fridays instead of both Fri and Sat. So imagine my surprise when I skip a weekend and all the dealers come back and say "we haven't seen you in forever!" Dude, I missed ONE WEEKEND. I'm going to be missing this weekend too, as I'm going out to the movies with the girls tonight, and then playing in a friend's home tournament (where I will be $100 of dead money probably, as I've been doing poorly at tournaments lately, but that's another story). I can't imagine what I'll run into when I get back next weekend. Although, if the fates align, I shall be meeting a Donkeypuncher.

One of the reasons I go consistently to Trump, and why the dealers know me is because I am one of the better women players there. I'm the only woman who plays consistently in the bigger stakes NL games (no woman plays in the CMG, because we're sane), and I like to think that I'm the best woman player there.

Okay, there's no "like to" in that feeling at all. I AM the best woman player there. Yet, I think that more women playing poker is a good thing, in general - I encourage all of my girl friends that are decent to take a shot at playing in the casino, because I also believe that women have a HUGE advantage playing poker against men. Seriously - how many men are given back their $150 river bet by a guy holding the nuts? I've been given my river bets back TWICE playing NL. That's all money in my pockets, boys, and trust me, I'm not giving you any breaks, either.

So I was very curious to notice my reaction while I was playing on Saturday (against all guys) to this lady playing in the baby game. She had built up her stack to $1000 from the $200 max or less, and obviously was decent at the game - I wasn't playing her and had my back to her so I couldn't observe much - and I hated it. It made me cranky! I get this feeling in tournaments, too - if I'm doing well and I'm not the last woman standing, I get annoyed.

It never makes me cranky when guys have more money than I am, or if they're a better player than I am, but it irks me to no end when a woman has more money than I do, or plays as well or better than I do. I find this bizarre, and go find my buddy Ray who's shown up and is playing the $10/$20 game. I ask him if I can get a guy take on a question I have and say,

"So, do guys hate it when there are other guys with more chips than them at the tables?"

Ray replies, "Oh, totally, it's called penis envy."

I say, "So if it really really irks me because that chick over there has a ton of money and is doing well at the baby game even though I'm not playing it, but it IS MY GAME, that's pretty similar?"

Ray laughs and says, "OH MY GOD YOU HAVE PENIS ENVY!"

I make a face at him and come back with, "Oh yeah? Well FINE! I bet Annie Duke has it too!"

Yes, it's true, girls can have penis envy, too.