Wednesday, June 01, 2005

You know you're too involved with poker when...

[given to me by one of the cool cardroom managers at Trump, and retyped for your viewing pleasure]

... you're fumbling with your wallet at a supermarket checkout counter and you call out to the cashier: "Time!"

... you are filling out a job application, and on the line that says 'Salary Desired' you write: Two big blinds an hour

... you're walking to work and see a local moving company truck with their name 'LAMMERS' on the side and think... Hmm - a truck full of tourney entry chips?

... you've got your money on the counter at a take-out joint, but won't push the guy the money until he pushes you the food.

... a new girlfriend (or boyfriend) asks you what your favorite position is and you respond, "on the button with pocket rockets"

... every day you play golf, the score card is always referred to in terms of poker hands: 6, 6, 3, 3, 3 - Yes, I've got a full house. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, boy do I play with bad golfers

... you're at the grocery store and the clerk says, "That will be five dollars," and you ask, "Who bet?"

... you are at a restaurant and need a fork, knife and napkin, and yell to the waitress, "We need a set up on table 15!"

... your boss gives you a raise ... and you believe he may be bluffing.

... your speed dial index is:
  1. best friend

  2. girlfriend / boyfriend

  3. card room

  4. vegas card room 800

  5. parents

... you find yourself critiquing phone numbers: 754-3846 (Hmmm, inside straight draw... idiot)

... after an all night poker session, you try to figure out how many hours you've been playing and count them, "Let's see: 8, 9, 10, jack, queen, king."

... when making airline reservations, you tell the ticket agent to LOCK UP your seat on the 8:15 flight to LAX.

... when the flight attendant takes drink orders, you demand black coffee and a bottled water, then tip her a half-dollar when drinks are served.

... you tuck your kids into bed with bad beat stories